I like going to the hairdressers. I remember during the Covid lockdown I couldn’t get my hair cut for a few months. The kind of hair style I have needs regular maintenance. Not that it looked terrible, but it felt out of shape to me. I didn’t realise as well how agitated I was over it until I had it cut the moment restrictions were lifted. It felt like a literal weight was lifted off me!
While it was a beauty ritual I enjoyed, it was not easy in the early years to get Lucas to the hairdressers. I can imagine it being the same for many on the autism spectrum.
The sound of the razor hum, the feel of snipped hair on the neck and face, the snug fit of the hairdressing cape. Multiple movements captured in the mirrors all around them, and just having someone unfamiliar in your face. What is a treat to some of us, could be a hellish torture for them.
It was DIY hair cuts at home when Lucas was young up till his mid teens. His dad did a pretty good job each time. It took a lot of patience on the dad’s part and screen time for Lucas. Sometimes he had to do it over a couple of sessions. It could look quite horrendous in-between sessions.
As he got older, Lucas was easier to reason with and we began taking him to a professional hairdresser. He quite enjoyed going to my hairdresser, because the music in the salon was to his taste and he could flip the pages of the many magazines there. But he’d often get excited and turn his head around to get my attention, or shook his head when he wanted the music changed. Or he’d suddenly raise his arm to point at something. I think he stressed my hairdresser out.
Lucas certainly stressed his cousin out. Ilias is doing an apprenticeship at a barbershop in Marine Terrace. Those who used to attend the nearby all-boys school will know which one. Ilias had been trying to convince his family to let him practice on them. Because I was a wonderful and supportive aunt/godmother, I volunteered Lucas!
The first time Ilias cut Lucas’ hair … well, let’s say I didn’t expect too much. I figured that at the very worst, I’d take him back to my hairdresser and get it sorted out. I didn’t have to. Ilias did sweat throughout though! The second time, it was better. Lucas was more familiar with the shop, and Ilias had more practice under his belt by then. Like at previous hairdressers, it’s always the sudden movement that we had to be prepared for. But I think being familiar with his cousin, Lucas behaved well while he was there. It helped that the shop had a good music playlist, and even though space was a little tight within the shop, because of Lucas’ autism, they allowed me in with him.
I saw this sign up on their wall. I asked Ilias if he had anything to do with it, given his familiarity with autism. Ilias said no, it has always been there. I like that very much! It is exactly the kind of community spirit we need!
Recently, there were volunteer hairdressers who went to the St Andrew’s Autism Centre, where Lucas is a client at the Day Activity Centre. Students and clients could get their hair cut and Lucas was among them. The volunteers did a great job too!
What we sometimes take for granted can be quite daunting for people on the autism spectrum. As a parent, I manage the environment as much as I can. I prep the service providers – hairdressers in this case – as much as I can. I stay on high alert during the entire time, ready to intervene if Lucas over-reacts. It was do-not-disturb-mom time!
And, we’re only talking about a hair cut here!
If you’re a caregiver of a person with special needs, what kind of typically stress-free services / treatments stress you out? Let me know in the comments below or email me if you’d like to chat.